WoT EventsTori's Way! dun dun dun
by free2thamax
Summary: um, read the title.
1. Tarmon Gai'don

Disclaimer: Don't own WoT (I wish) because RJ owns WoT. I'm not RJ. I am Tori. So bow down to my greatness instead of RJ's. Oh yeah, I don't own Hilary Duff either. I just hate her.

Tarmon Gai'don: Tori's way. (insert ominous music here)

Rand Al'Thor walked confidently up to the battlefield. With his great army behind him, he knew he couldn't lose.  
"I'm so amazing," he thought, "that I'm gonna call Shai'tan a wuss and see what he says about THAT. He can't hurt me because," He burst into song. "I'm too sexy for my shirt…" Mat heard him, unfortunately. "Okay then, Rand. I know this is Tarmon Gai'don and all, but do you have to kill EVERYBODY with that awful song? And speaking of that song, what is it? I'd like to kill the writer"  
All of a sudden, Shai'tan burst onto the scene. Appearing in a poof of smoke, he was intimidating. Except for a couple of things…  
"Are you seriously telling me that THIS is my ultimate foe? THIS is the Dark One?" Rand said as he realized who the Dark One really was.  
Hilary Duff walked up to Rand and startes shriek…I mean singing. (Tori: breaks out the earplugs) "Ugh, this isn't my concert! Get me my mineral water!" she whined. Her manager came forth with the aforementioned water and gave it to Hilary. After taking a big drink, and gulping it down like some imbecile (Tori: She is an imbecile), she looked at Rand. "Oh yeah, the most wonderful author of this great fanfic hates me, so I'm the dark One in her demented (Tori: and proud of it) mind"  
Rand giggled. Hilary actually looked at him for the first time.  
"Hey, you're not half bad! Wanna go out sometime?" she asked Rand. Immediately Elayne, Min, and Aviendha circled around Rand.  
"If you EVER hit on MY…I mean OUR man again, you will regret it." Avi says. Min whispered something to her, which she repeated to Elayne. The three of them started walking menacingly towards Hilary, and This scene has been deleted for graphic violence and creative use of a rubber duck Nonetheless, Hilary Duff was no more. (Tori: YAY! Parrrtay!) Then, the REAL Shai'tan stood up, and paced toward Rand, with an evil grin on his twisted face.  
Then.  
"Hey, wanna get some coffee?" Shai'tan asked.  
"Sure, I guess," said Rand, and the two skipped off, and everything turned into a field of flowers and bunnies (much to Lan's rejoicing…inside joke. I'll clue you in later.) and happy little rodents. Ta-daaaaahhhh! 


	2. What Happens to them

Disclaimer: I dont own anyone so shut up.  
Rand: goes insane and blows himself to Unicornland.  
Mat: marries me. (Tori: YAYNESS)  
Perrin: throws Faile in the evil pit of flowers and bunnies and is proceeded to die in a tornado.  
Tuon: dies in a quote-unquote "accident" (Tori: looks far, far away)  
Lan: leaves Nynaeve for the BUNNIES!  
Nynaeve: becomes a rabbit. see above.  
Elayne: wins a trip to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.  
Min: wins a Nobel Prize.  
Aviendha: kills the terrorists. painfully.  
Shai'tan: is killed by Aviendha. 


	3. Lan And The Bunnies

Disclaimer: Go back to chappie 1 and refresh your memory.

Lan and the Bunnies: Written by Tori

This is why Lan with bunnies references comes up so much.

My demented mind works in strange ways…Okay. There is a section of Randland called Happyland where everything is cartoony and there are rodents and ponies running around and cute little fishies and unicorns and happy little mermaids…yes, Happyland. Anyway, Lan stumbled across Happyland one day and got mangafied eyes (mangaJapanese comics) and became Prince Charming. And all these cute pink fuzzy bunnies pile up on him and Lan decides he likes the bunnies, so he invites Nynaeve to Happyland where she becomes this gorgeous princess and Lan stays with the bunnies for the rest of his life.


	4. Okayyyy, POLL and thankies

Okay…so I'm low on inspiration. I CAN'T THINK! Anyway, I shall thank my reviewers at this point.

Gohan'slittlebro47- Thanks! Um, the next chapter might have something to do with Hilary, I'm thinking MAYBE a list "Ways to kill Hilary Duff in Randland" but I dunno. Anyways, thanks.

Yuffie-babe- Lan with Bunnies is goodness on a stick! That's how my little brother describes it anyway…The sequel: Land and the Hamsters! O.o

Appels-and-oranges – Yes it was.

SOOOOOO………………..here is a poll of all readers. What do you want next?

A. Lan with Bunnies 2: The Hamster's Revenge

B. Ways to Kill Hilary Duff in Randland

C. A Rant about My least favorite Character. You will find out who…

Votes Mucho Appreciated. So are reviews.

From TORI THE CHEESE-MONKEY!


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